When it comes to family and how they can impact your life, many people think of all the trauma that is more than likely being passed on throughout generations.
They begin to allow that negativity to consume their everyday life. No trauma is great, but why not take it and grow from it?
For instance, growing up in an immigrant household there are a lot of issues that go on due to how the parents were raised and how the children begin to grow into their own beliefs. Older generations that grew up in immigrant households were more likely surrounded by or created an environment of strict gender roles, ‘acceptable’ beliefs, etc…
Something that people should take into consideration is that
the cycle of trauma can be stopped, people have the power to change how the next generation is going to grow up.
As people grow up, they learn to pick up on things around them. As a result, they begin to put together their thoughts and opinions on certain topics.
Younger children tend to follow their guardian’s beliefs and as they grow older, they either pull away from their guardians’ beliefs or grow closer to them.
A prime example of someone taking what they endured and growing from it, is my father.
Although he was only 15, he left behind everything he knew and moved to the U.S. to give his future children the youth he couldn’t have.
My father’s parents put him in charge of responsibilities he shouldn’t have had as a child, with the expectation for him to ‘man up’. Growing up was the only choice my father had, he was not allowed to have the childhood he deserved. This was not solely because of his family’s financial status but also gender roles his parents placed when it came to him and his siblings.
The girls were expected to either continue their education or marry someone who could care for them and the boys were expected to work to support their parents or partner.
Being the oldest son in a Hispanic household, my father was expected to be independent, take charge, and set an example for the rest of his siblings. He was the second primary provider and had the most eyes on him when it came to what choices he made for his life.
After coming to the U.S. he was still considered a provider for the family alongside his father. When building his own family, he wanted to create a safe environment for his children to thrive and focus on their studies to open more opportunities for themselves.
The days my 11-year-old self was able to sit down and relax after school are thanks to the days my father began working while only being 11 years old.
Being able to grow from generational trauma isn’t something that only goes on in immigrant households and sometimes it isn’t even acknowledged.
There are many cases where foster care children find themselves in a situation where they can either become their parents or become their own person. Being taken away from their homes and away from people who weren’t fit to care for them, is traumatizing, it’s often difficult for them to stray away from the bad habits that they grew up with.
Many success stories begin with a bad beginning, they are to let go of what is holding them back to keep moving forward.
Throughout a person’s life, problems are thrown at them like stones, some people just cry about how the stones hurt them while others pick them up and use those stones to create a path for themselves and everyone following behind them.
Written by: Carmen Gonzalez, Staff Writer